It Was Cold When I Woke

I am forgetful. My memory is akin to a 20 year old often used cheesecloth.
The more I have to do, the more I forget.
The more responsibility I take on, the less likely I am to seem responsible.

I am late. All the time and for just about everything, I am late.
Need me at 4:00pm? I will be there at 4:05.
Make it a point to tell me that the world will implode if I am not there at exactly 4:00pm?
The universe conspires against me and I shall arrive no earlier than 4:15.

Thus, when I manage to get things done correctly, and on time-
I have a sense of satisfaction that can only be trumped by coitus.
Deadly serious.