A prayer I needed to find

Today I felt I should hunt down something. Something to say in my darkest moments, a mantra, a reminder- anything. What I found spoke to me.

"St. Jude, friend to those in need, I am weary from grief, without joy, without hope, struggling to find the light I know is in my soul. I turn to you, my most trusted intercessor. Take away this emptiness and the pain of my broken heart. In your compassion, help my tears to lead me to a place of peace in my heart. Too long have I forgotten the goodness of God’s world. Heal me. I yearn to feel light, to feel joy. Envelop me in brightness, and do not hold back. And I promise, if I receive these gifts, I will share them always in your name. Amen."

The recent re-entering of spirituality into my life is helping me find peace. 

Song and Dance

I see that I am awake.
I wonder why.
There isn't much going on here.
It's all the same, everyday.
And I feel lost.
This place is empty.

The colors are all dull.
Lackluster whispers.
The same old song and dance.
Time could crawl much slower.
And I would sleep.
Chase the pain away.

- L. Treece 

Off the Top of My Head

- Singing
- Writing
- Baking and Cooking

I want to add many more things to that list. And I want to be doing all these things, often and in great abundance. There are things in life that are so simple, so easy to do- you just DO them- and yet I feel as if they are millions of miles from my grasp, they seem like dreams beyond any horizon I can see.

- Painting
- Sketching
- Hiking/Walking
- Swimming
- Playing guitar
- Playing piano
- Parkour

I'm starting to develop a bucket list. There is no telling how long one person has to truly live ... I know that I need to make the most of mine. I can't let depression lead me around on a choke chain. I need to do more than survive, I need to live.

- Have book of poetry published
- Have a novel published
- Make great comics with my husband
- Create a record with my husband
- Visit Ireland
- Create art that I love

And really, that's just off the top of my head.

Reminder - A Poem

Don't needlessly compare yourself to others
Be true to what you want and wish
Compromise is not giving yourself up,
the most important thing to remember in life is to be happy with yourself.

Chase your dreams
No matter how far fetched they may seem
no matter how old you are
or how young.

Remind the people you love- that you love them.
Life is too short to keep love to yourself.

Remember that life is short.
Celebrate every moment. Don't fear its passing.

Tragedy strikes.
Death comes.
Don't forget to live.

27

1:23AM brings 27 years.

Earlier tonight I received my first short story rejection letter. It was quite kind and easier to deal with than I imagined.

From here I push on. Pursue what I love. Never give up. Never surrender. ;)

Every few months I try to figure out who I am, and what I should do with my life.
I've decided to stop that. I can't keep wrangling myself into a pen that I'm unhappy with.
I can be interested in everything, pursue anything, be great at whatever and fail wherever.

Its okay.


I'm going to be okay.

Real World

Falling into the world of a story you're creating is a beautiful thing.

Coming back to the real world ... not always so beautiful.


Don't get me wrong. My family is amazing, I'm lucky to have a roof over my head and food in my house, etc. etc. What I'm talking about is that moment when everything snaps back into place. Like getting hit in the eye with rubber band. A feeling that is so startling, its like a physical assault.

So today is for dishes. For sweeping and folding laundry. For catching up on a week of school.
For trying to keep my sanity.

Can I have a nap?